Wellness with Vanda
Pregnancy Update, HTMA Giveaway Update, & Mindset Around Perfectionism
Navigating the ebb and flow of pregnancy at 22 weeks, I've been riding the highs of baby's progress and the lows of physical discomfort, like that unwelcome guest, sciatica. Come along as I recount the invaluable support from my pelvic floor therapist and dive into the transformative power of stabilization exercises. It's more than just about managing pain; it's about embracing the journey with every fiber of my being, including our family's decision to keep our baby's gender a mystery until birth – a tradition that heightens the excitement and emotion in our household.
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Navigating the ebb and flow of pregnancy at 22 weeks, I've been riding the highs of baby's progress and the lows of physical discomfort, like that unwelcome guest, sciatica. Come along as I recount the invaluable support from my pelvic floor therapist and dive into the transformative power of stabilization exercises. It's more than just about managing pain; it's about embracing the journey with every fiber of my being, including our family's decision to keep our baby's gender a mystery until birth – a tradition that heightens the excitement and emotion in our household.
Join the Wellness with Vanda Club!
Follow me on IG @wellness.with.vanda
Join my Email Community
Apply to Work with Me
Hey, welcome back to the podcast. This episode is going to probably be a little bit all over the place, because today I feel like I am a little bit all over the place. It is Friday when I'm recording this and I've had a little bit of a weird day. I'm in a little bit of a weird mood or mental space, I don't know. My day started off super well and then midday it just kind of went downhill and I think, maybe more than anything, I needed to eat. Because I have done that and now I feel a little bit better, I've given myself a little bit of grace, but I do want to kind of share a little bit about that and what led me to kind of like having such a poor mood for a little bit. I don't know. We'll get there in a second. First, I want to give an update on the HTMA giveaway. I want to give a little bit of a pregnancy update. I have an Instagram account I want to share with you that I think would be helpful for my type of listeners. And then we're going to talk about perfectionism a little bit, because I attended a class on this yesterday and, coincidentally, it really helped me out today. So I don't even know where to get started with this because, honestly, all of these things like intertwine with one another.
Speaker 1:Let's start with let's just start with, the pregnancy update. So I am 22 weeks this week. I am 22 weeks this week. Things overall are going really well. Everything has went like as it should up to this point. Baby seems to be growing like it is supposed to. I am growing like I am supposed to. Everything's been pretty like normal all the way through.
Speaker 1:The only thing is that I have been having some sciatica pain, which I have had in the past with both of my other pregnancies. Chiropractic care typically has relieved that. Basically it's not fully relieving it this time, which has been a little frustrating, but it's definitely making it manageable and like it's not hindering my ability to like do things. I'm a little uncomfortable when I do certain things, but overall not a huge deal. But then I've been having the only way I know how to describe this is like pelvic floor pain. It is like in my pelvic region, it kind of spreads into my legs and my upper thighs and it's very uncomfortable and I had this at the end of my last pregnancy. But I was like almost to the end of my pregnancy and I assumed that it was because, like you know, I'm like carrying this big baby and the baby's getting lower because it's preparing for delivery and like the weight of your belly and like I just I don't know. I just figured it was normal and I still feel like it's probably normal for that to happen. You know, you'll hear people talk about the hip ligaments loosening and about lightning crotch and all of those things like being a very real part of pregnancy. And you know, I just figured it was because I was getting towards the end.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I've been having this pain this time for several weeks now, honestly. So I wasn't even halfway through my pregnancy and I had did like different things on my own trying to relieve it and I wasn't getting anywhere. Some things that I would try seemed to make it worse. Some days it would seem to be worse for no reason. I have been getting a massage once a month. I have been going to the chiropractor. First it was monthly and it's been every two weeks for a while now. So I mean, I'm doing things that I felt like proactively. I was trying to address this issue and wasn't really getting anywhere. So I was like, okay, vanna, you're, you know, you're a professional, you're smart, you know that you need to probably go see a pelvic floor therapist and get this evaluated. If you feel like the pain is pelvic floor pain, then that's the most logical next step for you to do.
Speaker 1:So I put it off for a little bit, for no real reason, other than I just didn't call and make myself an appointment, but then finally it got to the point that I was like okay, this is only going to get worse as me and this baby get bigger, and I don't want to like be suffering with something if I don't have to. Um, so I talked with a friend that I have like connected with online. I was like hey, this is kind of like she is a. She is a physical therapist, she works with pelvic floor patients, and I knew that. So, like I had just reached out to her and I was like hey, this is what I've got going on. My thoughts are that I need to get in contact with someone local to me to get an evaluation, just wondered if you think the same thing, if I'm on the right track here, or if you have some other suggestion for me. And she was like no, you're right, it totally sounds like you need to go get an evaluation and go from there. So I called, I made the appointment and I went.
Speaker 1:I had my second appointment today and like overall the experience has went really well. I've been reassured by the fact that like there's nothing majorly wrong and I don't have any like major weaknesses that I should have addressed like two pregnancies ago or anything like that. But today there's just been like a lot of things today that like led up to my poor mood, I guess. But in the appointment today she was like it seems to me as if maybe you just need to do like some stabilization work, like maybe your muscles weren't as strong as they could have been like going into this pregnancy, and she didn't mean anything like shouldn't mean it negative Number one, I want to say that. But she also didn't mean like my pelvic muscles, like she just meant my overall like muscles, and I found that to be so discouraging because I have been inconsistent with my movement and exercise since I had my last baby, who is now two, almost two and a half, and that's kind of like that's on me to a certain extent and I was just like frustrated with myself when she said that because I'm like frustrated with myself when she said that, because I'm like there were definitely opportunities that I had where I could have been exercising more, I could have lifted more weights, I could have, you know, done x, y and z and I didn't like I was doing other things or prioritizing other things. And now I feel like I'm paying for it at a time where, yeah, there's still absolutely things I can adopt and things I can do and exercises that I can do and stretches I can do and stuff, and she's helping me with all that and that's great.
Speaker 1:But it's also at a time where I feel like I am limited in what I can do because I'm pregnant. I am limited in what I can do because I'm pregnant in terms of like starting an exercise routine and then, like now, because I am having this pain and certain things are painful, it limits what she would like for me to do, that even someone with just like normal pregnancy, no pain, could go ahead and do, because she doesn't want me to do something to like exacerbate it and make it worse, and I'm totally on board with that. I definitely do not want it to be worse, but it just kind of like sent me on this spiral and I was thinking about this when I was driving. I had to go get a grocery pickup after the appointment. I was driving to get the grocery pickup and I was like I am about to have a Minty B.
Speaker 1:I have a friend online. Her name is Cindy. She is at Makeover your Mindset on Instagram and you should give her a follow because she's a great account to follow. But she'll post every once in a while that she's like having a hard day mentally like with her attitude about something or whatever it might be. And she was like having a hard day mentally like with her attitude about something or whatever it might be. And she was like I felt a Mindy B coming on and I've always chuckled when I've read that. When she has said that, I guess I'm like this is such a funny way to say you feel like you're on the brink of a mental breakdown and not to like downplay a true medical event where you're having a mental breakdown. Like I'm not poking fun at that at all, but I was driving to the grocery store to pick the pickup up and I'm like, yeah, like I'm spiraling, I feel it Like I am being so hard on myself and I'm like about to like cry because I, you know, like I feel like I'm responsible for doing this to myself and, honestly, like who knows, like even if I had been in like the best shape of my life when I got pregnant, this time this still could have happened is. But it's funny because yesterday I went to this um.
Speaker 1:I have joined a membership for EFT tapping. I think I shared with you guys a while back that I was like very curious about EFT tapping. I had dabbled in it a little bit and it was something that I wanted to learn more about this year and try to incorporate. And if you don't know what EFT tapping is, to be honest, I don't know how on a podcast I can really describe it to you, but it's you, you literally tap on certain points in your body, um, and it's to help regulate your nervous system and, like help rewire some of the thoughts that you have like about a certain situation or about yourself. And, um, that's really all I can share about that right now. Definitely share more about it in the future, as I have more experience with it and I've done it more, um, because it's something that I others have shared with me how powerful it has been for them and I've done a session or two very randomly, not consistently implementing it or anything at all, and I do feel calmer, like at the end of it and for the next, you know, several hours after. So I'm anxious to see like how that goes and anyway I'm getting like off track.
Speaker 1:So I joined a membership for that and they had the first like live tapping session yesterday since I had joined and I was kind of hesitant to join because I was going to be in the car and I knew that I would only be able to listen the majority of the time. But then I was just like no, I signed up for this. Why would I pay for it if I'm not going to take advantage of it and use it? So I just logged in and I'm really glad that I did, because the topic for yesterday was a part two of a perfectionism like series that she's been doing and it just talked about how, like we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and do all of the right things but then we don't have this, the same level of like rewardism I don't even know if that's a word for ourselves when we do something good, like she talked about she had seen this like meme or picture illustration a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1:That was like really on point for what she was talking about and it was like on one side of it it said like, um, when I do something good, it's like, okay, you know, like no big deal, like there's no like celebration that happens, we don't brag on ourselves, we don't like really celebrate it. But then on the flip side of that, on the other side of the picture, it was like when I do something bad, and it was basically like you know, the whole world's coming to an end and you know, I'm just like everything is terrible and I'm so silly and I'm so dumb. I shouldn't have done it that way or I should have done better, I should have tried harder, whatever, like we're so hard on ourselves. And she was also sharing like some of this conversation was in the context of like a business owner and an entrepreneur, and one thing that she shared was that people that are really self-compassionate and get are like able to give themselves a lot of grace typically are the most successful.
Speaker 1:And although, like I said, we were talking about this in terms of like business, in my mind I kept also thinking about like motherhood and just life in general and like how we show up in our relationships and stuff with our like our friends and our partners, um, but definitely the connection there to motherhood and like the pressure that we put on ourselves to be like this perfect mom all the time. And, of course, I've recently been doing a lot of, you know, like a lot of the majority of my clients are moms and a lot of what I do, my content, the things I create, the things I put out there are all geared towards moms. So I'm constantly have mom in on my brain for not just my own use but for, you know, my clients and my community as well. So I just thought that was really interesting timing because, you know, as I'm driving to get the grocery pickup, I'm having this thought about how you know, I'm like about to have this, I'm spiraling, I'm having a minty bee, and then I'm like no, like I need to not do that.
Speaker 1:I need to give myself grace and not like be holding myself to this perfectionism standard, because I don't believe in perfectionism anyway. Like that's one of the big things that I talk about with my clients is that I don't expect them to be perfect, and I don't expect myself to be perfect, and a lot of times when I'm talking about that it comes it's about, like, diet choices or exercise choices. But it applies really to a lot of different areas, like in all areas of life. The trying to make ourselves be perfect or make all the right choices all the time or just it's not realistic, um, it's not achievable, and it just like kind of sets us up for failure. So I just like I was really glad that I had just had that conversation yesterday so that in the moment today when I was spiraling, I could kind had that conversation yesterday so that in the moment today when I was spiraling, I could kind of like stop myself and be like no, you have done the best that you can the past two and a half years, with the time that you have available, with the capacity you felt like you had at the time for what you felt like were your priorities at the time, what you felt like were most important with the stressors you've had come up in your life and you know you are not fully to blame for what is happening to you right now. And, like I said, there were other like you don't have things with your day just like. It's just like the little things that go wrong, that like add up and then you're just like having a bad day.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, like I swear, like my day this morning started off great, like I got up, like getting the kids ready and out the door went really well today. I sat down and had some breakfast, I got a shower, I washed my hair, I fixed my hair. I was like listening to good music while I was in the bathroom. I was dancing around a little bit Like I was just in a good mood. I fixed my hair. I was like listening to good music while I was in the bathroom. I was dancing around a little bit Like I was just in a good mood. I was thankful that it was Friday. My son has a baseball game tonight. That I think is going to be fun. We have more baseball and soccer over the weekend. We're celebrating my grandma's birthday over the weekend Like there's just fun, good things, and I was just having a good day.
Speaker 1:Well then, I don't know, right before I left to go to that appointment, I was working on the checkout page for the membership that I'm going to be launching in June. It's called the Wellness with Beta Club and I was trying to get in there to make like the tiniest change to the confirmation page that pops up after you check out, and something happened and it deleted the whole thing, and that is I mean with anything tech related, like you just know how frustrating that is. And then I was even more frustrated because here I was, it was like nearly time to go out the door. I've just had this like thing happen that I didn't want to happen and I'm on the platform that I use and I'm trying to restore this page and there's no way that you can restore a page, which is honestly ridiculous, but I mean it just couldn't. If there's a way to get back to a previously saved version, I can't find it and normally, like I said, I'm launching this in June, so it's not a fire.
Speaker 1:However, my business coach that I work with one of them, that is, one of my mentors helps me out a lot. On Monday she's doing a review of what I have prepared so far for this launch and the checkout page was going to be one of those things, and I'm like gosh, now I've got to either figure out some way to restore this or I've got to redo it and I just like that wasn't in my plans for the day and I just like that wasn't in my plans for the day, so that had frustrated me. Then I'm trying to get to this point so that like put me behind, leaving the house by a couple minutes, which is my own fault, because I should have just got up and went on out the door but I didn't. So I'm not late for this appointment, but I'm not as early as I would like to be. I get behind a big tractor. I had to follow it for several miles, so we're going like 20 miles an hour and it's just like. It's just all those like frustrating things. Then I get in the appointment and I'm starting to blame myself for why I'm having this pain in this pregnancy and I should have done things you know better earlier and it just put me. It just put me in a mood. It just you know, it just happens.
Speaker 1:I know that you guys will know exactly what I mean, what I'm talking about, um, so yeah, I don't know. That was kind of like that was the pregnancy update, that was the um, the perfectionism talk, that was the Instagram account I wanted to share with you all the things, all those things like tying together. The last thing that I wanted to share was about the HTMA giveaway I am so excited I have had as of today. The last time I looked, there were 18 people that had filled out the application and applied for this giveaway. So number one. If you have not done it yet, please find the information in my emails or on my Instagram. To apply for this giveaway. You have until May 10th at midnight Eastern time to do that. It's a really it's pretty simple process Just have to take a couple minutes to answer some questions and then you submit it to me and you're good to go.
Speaker 1:But what I wanted to share about it is that I kind of already knew this, but, like the biggest themes that I am seeing in the applications that are coming through, like one of the questions that it asks is like, what are your most concerning symptoms right now? And then I think the next question says something about like, how is this affecting your day-to-day life right now and your ability to like, show up, the way that you want to show up, and consistently, the symptoms that I see are fatigue, tiredness, overwhelm, stress. How it's affecting people's lives is that they're not able to show up and be the mom and the partner that they want to be, because they just don't feel like it and they're tapped out and they feel like they don't have anything else left to give in their tank and they don't even feel like they have like enough in their tank to care for themselves and they're just kind of lost with, like what to do next. So many people have said like I have tried this, this and this and nothing seems to be working. And I've gone to my doctor and they don't seem to think anything's wrong with me, but I still feel like crap and I'm just want some answers and I want to know what approach I should take, what I should do next that is actually going to help me and how I fit this all in in the midst of everything else that I have to do. And I'm like, yes, this is perfect, because this is exactly what I do with my clients and what HTMA testing can do for you. It clears, it clears those things up, it gives um, it kind of you know, like it gives you those answers. So I just wanted to like give the reminder again that if you have not signed up and filled out the application for the giveaway. Make sure that you do that before May 10th to get the opportunity to maybe win a free HTMA testing package from me, because it is truly so impactful and so informative and so helpful when you are like wanting to feel differently and show up differently than you're currently able to right now. Um, and, yeah, I think that was it. I think hopefully, um, hopefully, I will get off the emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I've been on today and we'll be smooth sailing for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1:I feel like I this was something I was going to kind of share like in my pregnancy update and I just never got around to it, but I so we don't find out the sex of our baby throughout the pregnancy. We've done it. This is our third pregnancy. This is the third time we're doing it, um, and we have let the gender be a surprise every time. Um, some people love that, some people really hate that. I really don't care what other people think about it. We chose to do it that way because I really enjoy surprises and that is like one of life's like best true surprises, like one of the only real surprises you get in life. I feel like and I just didn't, like I don't know. I just thought that would be such a cool experience and it was.
Speaker 1:And then we did it again, and now we're doing it again and, honestly, this time I might would have found out, but my husband was like, no, let's just keep it the same. Like you know, I could have been easily swayed to find out this time and, honestly, still probably could, because I'm just curious and knowing, going into this pregnancy, that it might be my last. Um, we aren't a hundred percent sure on that yet, but you know I'm getting older, um, these kids are starting to stack up. This'll be our fourth kiddo and, um, you know, it might, just it just might be the last time and I would, I would honestly really like for Kenley to have a sister. So it makes me more curious this time than I've ever been before. Like, what is the gender of this baby? But I say all that to say I'm going to be shocked if this baby is not a girl, because I feel like I've been on such a hormonal rollercoaster that's the only way I would put it the last two weeks.
Speaker 1:Last week I was so on edge, like I was annoyed with things that don't even deserve being annoyed about. Like I and it just like. It did not take much for me to feel like I was ready to just like scream, like I was. Just I was so annoyed and I knew that I was like being irrational about things. In my mind I'd be like you should not feel the way you feel about this right now. But I could not help it. I just I could not. And then this week I have caught myself being super emotional over dumb things, over just like nothing.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like I could just cry, and sometimes literally over nothing, like I can't remember what day it was this week, but like nothing had upset me. I wasn't feeling stressed about anything, I was totally fine. I was like in the middle of my day, so I was like the kids weren't home. I was just like working and I was like I feel like I need to cry. I just like, and I was like there's literally I need to cry, just like, and I was like there's literally no reason right now why you would be feeling like you need to have a good cry right now. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:I hope those hormone fluctuations kind of slow down a little bit and level back out, because I don't enjoy the ups and downs of this little hormonal emotional rollercoaster that I've been on, and probably the people around me don't enjoy the ups and downs of this little hormonal emotional roller coaster that I've been on, and probably the people around me don't either. My husband gives me so much grace when, especially when I'm pregnant Even last week he looked like he never said anything, probably because that wouldn't went well for him either but like there were a couple of times when I was just being grouchy like I was just being grouchy about nothing, and he'd kind of like look at me, like in the car or from across the room, and I know he had to be thinking like what the heck is wrong with you, like why are you, why are you so? One day he did ask me. He was like you don't seem very happy today. Is something bothering you, something? I'm like no, I'm just, I'm just really tired and I feel really aggravated for no reason, but I just feel aggravated. So anyway, that's, that's the.
Speaker 1:That's the updates that I have for you guys. That's the status of my mental health right now. I'm just kidding, this is that health right now. I'm just kidding, this is a joke. I think you guys know that's a joke, but yeah, I hope you guys have a great week. Don't forget to get the application for the giveaway filled out. Be on the lookout for some of the things that are coming down the pipeline in the next little bit, because I'm super excited about them. I can't wait to share more about them with you guys, and I will be in some of the upcoming episodes. So I'm going to leave you with that for the week and I'll talk to you soon.