Wellness with Vanda
32: Are You Moody?
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Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I am sitting down today to record an episode on something that came up in my Instagram stories, probably about two weeks ago now, that I actually had a lot of thoughts on and a lot to say about it. On this particular day that it came up and it actually really resonated with a lot of people, I got a lot of messages back from like what I said on my stories in response to this person. It was like this was super helpful. This gave me like a lot to think about, a lot to reflect on, and I knew at the time that I wanted to bring this to a podcast episode because when I was making the Instagram stories about it, I was just typing them out because it was early in the morning, my kids were up, I was in the room with them and like, sometimes recording stories of me talking at that time doesn't work out very well, so I was just typing on the screen and I thought I feel like I could really give more value to this if I could talk it out instead of typing it out. Sometimes I feel like I really struggle to type out all of the thoughts that I have and what I'm trying to communicate. Sometimes it's easier for me to speak it out loud, so I wanted to do a podcast episode on it, because I know that there's also some of you guys that are in my email community and listen to this podcast that are probably not following me on Instagram and didn't see that post, and since it resonated with so many people, I feel like it's going to resonate here as well.
Speaker 1:So how this like came up or came about, was I posted a question box on my stories and basically just said like what is the most annoying, aggravating symptom that you're dealing with right now that you can't like get get a handle on or get like to go away, or it's just like a recurring thing for you? And I've had a lot of different responses, but this particular one was like I don't really have any other than moodiness, and I thought that this was really great because you know, I talk a lot about how I help my clients deal with mood swings. But I think that verbiage doesn't always resonate with people and, like this week, currently I have been talking a lot with moms specifically about how they would describe their difficult days, whether you say it's like been a really overwhelming day or really like a day where you felt like you really overstimulated and just trying to better identify, like, what words we identify with, to kind of communicate this feeling that I'm talking about. And in this person that responded to the story, she was talking about this moodiness, she was talking about mood swings, but she wasn't necessarily referring to them in a way like that was related to her cycle. It was just like in everyday life, the moodiness that we encounter. And you know, I think it's important that we all recognize that our moods shift and there are a lot of different things that impact our mood. But I gave some advice on how to kind of manage this, how to reflect on it, how to, you know, like implement some things that might even avoid or negate some breakdowns or some mood swings or some bites or arguments or things.
Speaker 1:So there's like three big areas that I'm going to cover in this talk. The first one that I'm going to tackle is blood sugar regulation, because a lot of times our mood can be negatively impacted by blood sugar dysregulation and unless you're wearing a CGM or you regularly check your blood sugar, you might not even realize that this is what is happening. I mean, it's pretty common, I think that we all know that when we get hangry, we're testy, we're irritable, it's because we need to eat. Well, it's really not about the food so much, as it is that your glucose is low and it's like your body is screaming at you that you need fuel and it makes you a little testy. Well, you that you need fuel and it makes you a little testy. Well, that can happen on a smaller level all throughout your day and you don't realize that you are more irritable because your blood sugar is not stable. So I know that I talk a lot about like blood sugar stability and how to put your meals together in a way that supports blood sugar balance, but I just want to review that quickly.
Speaker 1:So the key to this is making sure that when you're having any of your meals so this is applicable to breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks too if you're someone that needs a snack you want to make sure that you have all the important components on your plate. So you want to look down and be able to identify where is my protein coming from, where is my fat coming from, where is my fiber coming from and where are my carbs. Now, with snacks specifically, just call this out. I typically try to avoid a major like carb source, except in certain situations, and I can't get into the nitty gritty of all of that today. That's not what this podcast episode is about, um, but like I said, with breakfast, lunch and dinner, I want you to be able to look down at your plate and identify protein, fat, fiber and some carb. That is what our body needs to function properly, effectively. That is what our body needs to function properly, effectively, efficiently, and if you're missing one of those components, how can you add it in? What could you add to your plate to achieve that? A lot of times, this is going to look like needing fiber.
Speaker 1:I realize that fiber is hard for some people to get, but what I do want to reiterate is I've now been wearing a CGM for a month consistently because I was watching my sugars related to the pregnancy and thankfully I got to take that off today and I don't have to put another one back on. My sugars have been good and there's no need for me to continue monitoring and, to be honest, the CGM gets old after a little bit. It's really cool at first and it's very fascinating. I'm glad we have the technology, but it does get old after a little bit, so, anyway, I'm getting off topic. One of the things that really stood out to me the whole time I've been wearing the CGM, though, is that if I miss the mark on my fiber, my blood sugar is not as stable, and especially when I know I'm eating things that are either a little carb heavier or are more of like a sweet treat, if I don't pair that with fiber, my blood sugar is going to spike, and then it's going to dramatically drop, and it's those spikes and dramatic drops that cause you to feel bad and put you a little on edge and make you a little more testy, and can really impact your mood.
Speaker 1:So the next thing that I wanted to talk about is, like, when you are having a day or a period of time where you feel like you are more moody than others, it is important to take some time to reflect and identify, like, okay, what was it about this day or this week that had me feeling so irritable? Like, was it a certain person, was it a certain task? Was it like your job in general, your kids in general, your husband in general, your mama? Like, what was it that made you so moody? And then even reflect a little bit further. Like did it impact me just for an hour and then it was fine. Or this has been going on like the whole day. Everything has irritated me. Or I had like a really aggravating, irritating event that happened in the morning and then I just like carried it with me. It like went my whole day.
Speaker 1:It's important to reflect on those things because then you can kind of pick up on some patterns and you can pick up on what triggers are, and if you know what the triggers are, then you can avoid them. That's like kind of the whole, the whole key, and it might inform you that maybe you need to set some boundaries with certain people, or maybe you identify that it is a menstrual cycle related thing and you know sometimes that is a little out of our control, but then you know that you need to do some work to balance your hormones because something's off there. The other thing that I shared was that you know we are commonly the most moody with the people that we are around the most. Now, given that my audience is mostly mamas like myself, this is going to be with your kids and with your husband. So that's the two categories that I'm going to specifically talk about. But just know that if you're not in that season of life where you have kids or you have a husband, this can be applicable to whoever you spend the most time with, whether it's co-workers, your mom, your brother, your best friend. Whoever you spend the most time with you can apply some of these same principles.
Speaker 1:I want to talk about kids first, because it's easy for us to feel really tested by our kids, and I feel like with kids, especially when we're with them all day, it just like builds and builds and builds. And then it is kind of that situation where it's like I've been so moody all day with these kids and you feel bad later on because you see it, you recognize it, but in the moment you're just so irritated and you're like why are these children making everything hard today? And that's a lot to put on them. But so there's some things here that we need to think about. Number one am I irritated or moody? In this particular situation, that triggered me because of my own expectations. So I'm going to try to give some examples of this. Like did you take your kid out in public somewhere and expect them to behave perfectly? Because if so, you've set yourself up for failure. I think of this a lot like.
Speaker 1:Something that we struggle with here in our house is taking the kids out to eat at a sit-down restaurant. We're still like in those, those like age ranges where Anthony's totally fine to go to a restaurant, he's great, but Kenley and Hollis, it's more work than it is to just like skip it and we're guilty of not doing it sometimes because it's just like it's so much work and it's not always enjoyable and you feel like you're fighting with them the whole time. So that is an example of how I have to evaluate what my expectations are. I have to remember that they are four and two and I'm asking them to sit for sometimes like an hour, maybe more, with really nothing to do. So I have to think about, like, how I have prepared them for that. Like, did they?
Speaker 1:Did I talk to them about what the expectations are, that they are to remain in their seat? That they're? You know, we can't be yelling in the restaurant, we can't be throwing food in the restaurant. Um, that, like, if you're bored, these are the things that you can do while you sit in your chair. And then have I, like, brought things along with us to entertain them. Did we bring their little Amazon fire tablets that they can play on? Did I bring something to color or something to play with? Or am I just asking them to sit there like an adult and wait, because that's not a realistic expectation for them at the age of four and two? And then I have to kind of check myself and my parenting, like if I have set these expectations and they know it and they are just like testing boundaries, am I falling through on a consequence Like how are we correcting that behavior? How are we like modeling and teaching that this is not an okay way to act in a restaurant? And a lot of times, a lot of times, it does come back to they really weren't that bad, they really didn't do anything that wrong. I just expected them to act differently or like they really didn't do anything that wasn't age appropriate for them. I just expected more, and sometimes my more is too much and isn't appropriate for what they can do and what they can handle.
Speaker 1:Another thing to think about is when you are getting aggravated with your children you're finding yourself really moody with your kids is to think about whether or not their, like basic needs have been met. Sometimes they can't really communicate with us very well and tell us what they need. So you kind of have to run through this mental checklist in your own mind of like, okay, they're doing this thing. That's really annoying and it's really testing me and I really wish they wouldn't do it. Like, why are they doing it? Are they hungry? Are they sleepy? Do I have them out of their routine? Have I sugared them up earlier in the day? And now this is like the side effect of that. Is their blood sugar regulated? How have their? What have they eaten and drank today?
Speaker 1:Did I kind of set this situation up for failure by something that I have either given or not given them today? And then and I kind of mentioned this in, like the restaurant example but have I explained to them, like, what the expectations are for the activity that we're doing, whether that be something at home or we're going out in public to do something? So, like you know, at home I'm trying to think of an example, like, okay, so let's say that I have taken the kids I say taken the kids, because we usually do this downstairs Like, let's say, I've set them up to paint and you know they're like I don't know doing crazy things with their paintbrushes, like they're painting on the table or God forbid the wall or like whatever. Like before we started, did I sit them down and let them know what the rules were, how to ask for help, when to ask for help, what to do when they were finished, how to let me know they didn't want to do that activity anymore. All of those things can be really helpful in preventing you getting triggered.
Speaker 1:In preventing you getting triggered Now there's going to be times where they really are just testing your boundaries, seeing what they can get away with doing things that they know they're not supposed to do, and that's going to test you and trigger you and make you a little moody, and we'll talk about that at the end. But you know we just have to roll with that. Sometimes that is going to happen. It's actually completely age appropriate for them to do that. Um, let's talk about partners, husbands next. So I find that for myself a lot of times when I am aggravated with Blake, it's really I'm the problem, like, hey, it's me, I'm the problem. It's not how that Taylor Swift song goes. Um, anyway, it's big.
Speaker 1:The thing that is like I'm so moody with him is because he's either like not doing something but I haven't communicated to him that I would like for him to do it, or I am really like internally struggling with something, but I haven't told him about it, or I am feeling really like tapped out at the end of the day with like a parenting situation and I need a break, but I haven't opened my mouth to tell him that, and so, like we can't expect our partners to be mind readers. We have to let them know what it is that we need, so that our needs are met, and then, if there is something reoccurring that, like they do, that really causes us to be triggered or moody or irritated, have we taken the time to tell them so that they could maybe change it or not do it. Like maybe they don't have any idea that it annoys you when they don't take out the trash, or whatever. It might be Like I don't know, and it's going to be different for everybody, but I find that communication is really really important with, especially like a husband, a parent, a coworker, especially a husband, because we just, I think we just take for granted that like they should know certain things that they don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, like right now in my house. You know, I'm 31, almost. I'm just days away from being 32 weeks pregnant. The day this airs I'll be 32 weeks pregnant. I'm like he should know that I'm tired and that I don't. You know, some days feel very good and that I just want to sit here on this couch, well, but then I have other days where I feel really great and I want to do all kinds of things. So how would he know on the particular days that I feel bad, that I do feel bad, if I don't tell him? I can't expect that. He would just know that. And that's just, you know, like an example specific to me. But you guys can think, I'm sure, of your own examples and then, like I said, you know, to just kind of like wrap all of this up, there are going to be days where we're just in a mood, you know, we just wake up on the wrong side of our bed and things irritate us and there's really no like rhyme or reason why it happens, and that's okay. It's just. I'm giving these tools and giving these examples and encouraging this like reflection, because there's other times when we can identify reasons and triggers for what has irritated us and caused us to be moody and there are ways that we can add in some like prevention steps so that maybe it doesn't happen as often.
Speaker 1:The last thing that I wanted to talk about is that I think sometimes when we are moody, it's kind of like it's been this like snowball effect and the moodiness is the result. But I think a lot of times it comes back to like we don't just let ourselves feel our emotions, and I know that this is not applicable to everybody. Some people are very good about just like feeling their feelings with no, I don't know no excuses about it, no remorse, no, whatever. But a lot of people struggle with just feeling their feelings, whether that be that they're sad about something, they're anxious about something, they are, um, really bothered by something and, honestly, even happy emotions, like even good emotions.
Speaker 1:I feel like sometimes that gets suppressed too, and I think that when we do that, we get this like buildup of all these little things. Maybe that have happened throughout the past week or the past month and it just it's all little things. Until all the little things have built up and we haven't processed those emotions, or we suppressed them and didn't deal with them, or we were like, oh, I'm not going to feel that today. Then it all adds up and we end up being this like moody monster and we don't know why, because nothing that particular day really seems to have gone awry or bothered us. It's just that we're irritated by everything, and so you know, I just like something that I'm trying to work on myself and I encourage you to do. The same is like when you're feeling something, let yourself feel it. Whether it's happy, sad, anxious, whatever it is, there's value in feeling those feelings and letting yourself process those feelings and investigate, like, why you're feeling certain ways or certain things. So, like I said, that all really resonated when I shared it on Instagram, and I don't know, maybe my thoughts were more put together when I typed them out, but I thought it would be good to share it as a podcast episode here too, since it did resonate so well. So I'm going to leave you guys with that.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be really honest. I don't know at what point in this pregnancy that I will take a little bit of a break from the podcast. I think that I will have a episode next week and we'll continue to try to record them up until whenever I have the baby, but things like talking for long periods of time and not getting out of breath is becoming a challenge, as you kind of may have heard throughout this episode. So I have to take some breaks or take some drinks water, whatever, mid conversation. So just know that, like, if the podcast randomly takes a hiatus, I'll be back, um, after the delivery of the baby and after I'm feeling a little bit better. Then I'm not disappearing forever, it's just that. Uh, you know I had to take a break for a little bit, but hopefully next week I'll talk with you guys again and I hope you have a good week till then.