Confronting Standards: A Discussion on Weight Loss and Life Priorities

This episode is a warm conversation around the tricky waters of societal pressures and weight loss, challenging conventional narratives on body image. With an open heart, we question - is it truly worth missing out on life's sweet pleasures to conform to societal beauty standards? We also emphasize the importance of having a healthy relationship with food and aligning our choices with long-term happiness and well-being. We invite you to introspect, examine your priorities, and find that perfect balance that allows for both health and enjoyment in life.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:21

Hey guys, welcome back for the ninth episode of the podcast. I'm so excited to have you guys here with me today and I wanted to report back that you guys left last week's episode about seed cycling. I had several people reach out in like Instagram DMs and say that that was such a neat concept and they had never really heard of it before and they were excited to try it. So please keep coming back to me and telling me the things that you really like hearing about for me and then, if you try seed cycling, please keep me posted on how it works for you and what changes you notice If you notice any, how long it takes to notice any changes, because I just love to hear that stuff from you guys. So let's see Life update what is going on around here at the home front, just getting ready for Christmas. It's December 8th when I'm sitting down to record this, so the Friday before it's going to go live and I am trying to get some things wrapped up this weekend with our, like, christmas decorations. I put my tree up but I haven't decorated it yet, so I got to get that done last week, and this is funny because I kind of shared a little bit about this snow village a few episodes back, but I decided my grandma doesn't put her Christmas village out anymore and she hasn't for years, and she doesn't really plan to put it out anymore. It's just like it's a lot, it's a lot. So I went and got the snow village from her and I'm going to put it up at my house. We have these two built-ins on the side of our TV. So I took like all the normal little knick-knacky decoration things that sit there, took them off, cleaned the shelves and I'm going to put the snow village up there so that the kids can't really reach it to break anything. And I'm going to, once it's all like put up and lit up and done, I'm going to have my grandma come down so that she can see it Because, like, normally she's not at my house very often but I wanted to come and see it because I think that she's really going to enjoy that. And it was so special Like I was unwrapping all of the little houses and like, when she was giving it to me, she had a couple of these little pieces.

Speaker 1: 2:33

One of them is this little girl and she's dressed in this like snow bonnet thing and she's holding this little star and she said my friend. And she told me who, but it wouldn't matter to you guys. My friend gave this to me the first Christmas that you had been born, so like I wrote that when I got at home on the bottom of the little figurine so that I would always remember. And then she had another one that she said she always put it in the snow village and it's this little girl and this little boy staying next to each other. And she was like this was you and no one, no one's my brother in our snow village. And it's like I wrote that on the bottom side.

Speaker 1: 3:07

I just I don't ever want to like forget those little things and it was just really. I've just been really in my feels the last like I don't know month or so, very like what's the right word Like not nostalgic I don't even know if I just said that right, but just I don't know, just really in my feels and it was really special to like she was excited to give this stuff to me and I was excited to have it and she like told me different story. Her memory is like incredible, like these houses. I am 32 years old, so she's had a lot of them since I was born or like the first couple of years of my life, and she could still remember like specific houses, like some of them, like who gave them to her or a special friend had gifted it to her and she told me all those things and anyway, it was just really. It was really fun and my kids are super excited about Christmas this year. So Kenley is Anthony's seven Well, they're all about to turn these ages, so Anthony's about to be seven, kenley is almost four and Hollis is almost two and they are just like lit up about Christmas, about the trees, the Christmas lights, the gifts, like they are just so excited. And it made it so much more fun for me this year to get ready for Christmas.

Speaker 1: 4:29

And, like I, normally, my kids have so many toys. They have so many toys and they honestly they don't need a thing in the world toy wise, they really don't. But they are so excited about it this year that I actually really just embraced buying them the things that they keep seeing on TV, that they kind of want, picking out things that I knew they would enjoy playing with it and just going with it. Like normally I try to do a couple of toys and then like some clothes, things that they need and some new pajamas, and you know, I don't know, they're just so into it this year that I was like, forget it, they're gonna get the pajamas and the underwear and the things they need anyway For their gifts for Christmas. I am just gonna go all in on the toys this year and it was so fun picking everything out. My mom and I took a day last Friday and we just went shopping and we literally shopped from with my house at 630 and we did not get home until after 10 o'clock and you literally could not have crammed one more thing into my car. I really, the last place we went, I didn't know how we were gonna get everything that we had purchased into my car and get home, and it was just so much fun. It was just it was just fun and I was just really enjoying this year, like this season, and just really embracing it.

Speaker 1: 5:49

So I want for today's like episode I wanted to come back to a mindset minute that I gave to you guys, I think, honestly, on the very first podcast episode that I recorded, and it was the question or the thought of like what is it worth giving up in order to reach your goal, and that's gonna be very dependent on you for, like what your goal is. I have a lot of thoughts about this. So there are, see, a lot of people that I'm not sure they even know, honestly, like what their goal is. They just like is being skinny. Your goal is being strong. Your goal is looking really good in your clothes. Your goal is looking good when you're naked. Your goal, like, what are you really Working towards? And have you taken time to Sit down and even ask yourself I'm like you're acknowledging, like I want to change my body, but why and in what way and what am I really trying to get at here and why do I want that so bad like? That's a lot of questions to ask yourself. That's a lot.

Speaker 1: 7:03

If you journal I highly recommend journaling because it's just a good place like download the thoughts in your mind onto paper. But even if you don't journal, just like when you're driving down the road, just think through these questions and Ask yourself. Or when you're sitting out on your front porch having your coffee or whatever Just think through those questions and really Push yourself to answer them and answer them honestly, and you might find that you need to like really think about it for a few days before you can even answer that. But now I'm kind of getting off topic. What I wanted to talk about, and what that original mindset minute question was, was like what are you Giving up and what are you willing to give up in order to reach that goal?

Speaker 1: 7:44

So for a lot of people, they just want to lose weight and that is like a very surface level goal and again, I encourage you to like get deeper with that. But they do some pretty extreme things in order to lose weight or To even work towards losing the weight, and maybe it's not even working. But there's all these things that you are giving up and doing in order to lose weight and I I just feel like that when we are, you know, 60, 70, 80 years old, we're gonna look back and be like, yeah, now, that wasn't worth it. I wish that I had just really fully embraced life around me and Done things differently, because in the end, the shape of my body, the size of my body, really didn't matter, and that's not to to like. I'm not sharing that. I'm not saying that to Be negative towards someone that has weight loss goals, like I have shared before on podcast episodes.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I'll tell you right now I'd love to lose about 10 pounds, but it's not my primary goal. My primary goal is that I want to be healthy as I age. I want to be healthy right now for my kids and my husband and our family and the things that we want to do. I want to like physically Be able and be strong enough to do the things that I want to do and not like, not like struggle, struggle to like lift boxes or feel like I always have to get help to Pick up something heavy or you know, I Don't know. It's just like. That is where more of my focus is, and there are a lot of things that I'm not willing to give up to Get there.

Speaker 1: 9:34

Um, and and if I, if my goal only was weight loss, I Definitely there's a lot of things that I would not be willing to give up in order to get there. And I think sometimes people look at that and they think, oh well, you just don't have enough willpower, and I really don't think it's an issue of having willpower or not. Willpower isn't gonna get you there anyway, but that's like a topic of for a different day. Um, I Think subconsciously we have. We know like somewhere in our being like these things are actually not worth it to lose those five pounds.

Speaker 1: 10:12

So I'm talking about things like Giving up meals with your family. If you're gonna cook dinner for your family and they're gonna have lasagna and bread and and salad and you're like, nope, I can't have that because that's got way too many carbs in it, it's got a lot of fat Um, I can't have that. So instead of that, I'm gonna grill me some chicken and I'm going to put it on my salad and eat it. Now, I'm not saying that that is like a terrible thing to do. It's, honestly, that's probably a pretty, that's pretty okay thing to do.

Speaker 1: 10:54

But, like, my point is like then, but then your kids see you not allowing yourself to eat the lasagna and the bread. And are you having some of those conversations that we talked about in the past with them about why you're making that choice? Like, well, mommy's choosing this today because actually I don't really want the lasagna and I chose to fix me something else because this is really going to fuel my body and help me to feel really good and it's okay. If I wanted the lasagna, I would have it. I think having some of those conversations are really important. And managing your own mind around that Like am I choosing to have this grilled chicken salad instead of the lasagna because it's really what I want, or it's really it feels really worth it to me right now to make this choice and move towards my goal, or am I giving it up and not having the lasagna and the bread with my family because I feel like I can't, or I've told myself I shouldn't, but I really want it. I'm just not going to allow myself to do it.

Speaker 1: 11:56

And then it's other things too. It's like okay, there's a lot of people that are taking weight loss drugs right now, whether it be pills or shots or whatever else, and it's making them really sick. But they are spending the majority of their day, half the night, many days in a week, many days in a month, almost every day, feeling sick, and sometimes not just feeling sick and nauseous, but like physically throwing up. Is that worth it to you to lose weight and be skinny? And if it is, that's your choice to make for yourself. But what type of example is that setting for your daughter and your son and what they expect of themselves as they go through life? And I think a lot of times. I think about this in terms of like sons, like what are they going to expect their wives, their future wives, to put their bodies through in order to be skinny and like why is that so important? Anyway, who cares? Why is it important?

Speaker 1: 13:09

It's giving up things like not enjoying birthday cake with your kids on their birthdays. No, mommy, can't have that because I'm on a diet. I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to give that up. It's one day, it's one piece of cake, but I see women doing this all the time. And that's not to say that you know if your family had cake on the regular every single day of the week, that you know, for whatever reason. I'm not saying that it's bad in certain instances to say, no, mommy doesn't want that today. No, I don't feel like that's not going to serve my body today. I'm going to skip it. And then having those constructive conversations with your kids about why your kids shouldn't be probably having cake every single day either. You know like that's an education point. It's. I don't know.

Speaker 1: 14:01

It's a hard topic to explain all of the things that I think about it and make it make sense Like I'm having. I did not like playing for any of this podcast episode because I thought I'm just going to be able to get on there and just talk about this, because I have so many thoughts and so many scenarios and so many like things running through my mind but I am having a hard time like articulating it. So y'all just have to forgive me for that, but it's. It's like. I want to embrace life around me. I want to enjoy every moment that I have with myself, with my friends, with my kids, with my husband.

Speaker 1: 14:39

I don't want to be making choices every single moment of every day based on I'd like to lose 10 pounds. I just don't, and I don't think it's the healthiest thing to live your life that way and restrict yourself all the time, because then you're just really demonizing food and really the you know how much is the food really the problem. It's more like it's your consistency over time than these, than these one meals, these one choices. But you're so hung up in like restricting yourself and trying to be perfect and make the perfect choice all the time that you're putting all this extra pressure on yourself when it really it really doesn't matter. I'm just sitting here thinking that this this is the first time I've ever thought about like scrapping a podcast episode. I guess I'm like I don't even know if any of the things that I've just sat here for 10 minutes and said make any sense. My brain feels a little scrambled today, but I'm just going to go with it.

Speaker 1: 15:59

I hope that you guys can like hear what I'm trying to get at and what my point in sharing this is. I really like my point in sharing it and my point in trying to have this conversation and continue to push you guys to think these thoughts and ask yourself these questions like why am I making these choices? Why am I putting this pressure on myself? It's because I want you to make decisions from a place that really aligns with your goals and really aligns with how you want to show up in your life and how you want to retrospectively be able to look back on your life when you're 70 years old, 80 years old, look back and be like, yeah, I'm really proud of what I did then. I'm really I'm really proud of the way that I showed up, I'm really proud of the way that I taught my kids about food and dieting and exercise, and and I really am glad that I just like fully embraced life at that time.

Speaker 1: 16:58

I don't want you to look back on it and be like, well, I wish that you know I had not been so worried about losing weight or getting to the gym seven days a week or whatever your thing might be Like. There is definitely a healthy way to balance it all and to make choices for yourself that align with your goals but that do not restrict your life so much in the normal every day to day. I hope that that makes sense. Again, I feel like this was a little bit all over the place and maybe, moving forward, I'll try to like plan my thoughts out ahead a little better than I just did for this episode, but I'm not going to scrap it because it's just that's what's on my mind. So I don't know if you guys don't like it or it didn't make sense or whatever. Just tune in next week and maybe it'll be better, maybe it'll be better.

Speaker 1: 18:04

So, yeah, I'm going to leave this episode kind of with the same mindset minute again, because now that I've kind of shared my thoughts on it and the things that I'm not willing to give up in order to lose weight, honestly it's about losing weight Like there are things that I'm willing to give up for the sake of being healthy and mobile and able-bodied at 80 years old, but there are not things that I'm willing to give up to lose 10 pounds in a month and, as you do this work for yourself, that will make more sense to you and how you like balance out the two. So I encourage you to do some more reflecting on that and really get real with yourself and dig deep for, like, what's your why behind the goal that you're working towards right now? Does it still make sense? Or do you have that goal for yourself because you feel like you should, or you feel like society like tells you that's what your goal should be, or the way you should show up, or the way that you should look? Like?

Speaker 1: 19:13

What do you really want at your core now, 10 years from now, 50 years from now, when you're 100, whatever that is, and then work from that place of trying to get there and then having a healthy balance within your life where you're not super restricted all of the time and you're not demonizing food and you are making choices that are based in a way that are working towards making you feel good and feel gosh, I can't think of the other word that I'm trying to get out here, but then make you feel good and feel aligned with how you want to be living your life. All right, guys, that's it. That's all I've got for today. I hope you have a good rest of your day and I'll talk to you next week.